


Microwaves are difficult

by thighasfuck



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Silly elves, tricky electronic devices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 20:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5104658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thighasfuck/pseuds/thighasfuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And clueless elves are not a good addition to that sentence. Imagine your OT3 fill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Microwaves are difficult

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fluffyhope](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffyhope/gifts).



> "In your OT3 
> 
> Who doesn’t know that aluminum foil shouldn’t go in the microwave.  
> Who’s the little shit that doesn’t say anything cause they think it can’t go that badly  
> And who comes home to a crispy microwave and the other two rubbing burn cream on each other"
> 
> I went a little aways from the prompt but you can imagine how this goes.  
> Kai is baby of FluffyHope and Galion is baby of mine.

“I got the things.” 

“The so called peeza-rolls?” Galion raised a brow in distaste at the frozen food item. Really, such simple food was barely worth ordering rather than making them yourself, and buying them already done but frozen solid, and keeping them in a coolbox? He couldn't wrap his mind around it. But his growling stomach reminded him that times were desperate, and Zevran had yet to arrive with new groceries.

“It's pizza. Peeee-tzaaaa. Rolls.” Kai spelled out, turning the thing in his hands, trying to read the instructions. Giving up, he turned back to where Galion was bent over, glaring at the numerous buttons and their symbols on the apparatus in front on him. “Have you worked out the small oven yet?”

“Micro-wave.” Galion corrected, giving up, standing, and flipping his hair over his shoulder. “Zevran uses it every day, but I don't remember how he does it.” He crossed his arms, attempting to make the inanimate object submit to his stare. Kai sighed tiredly.

“He just puts it in and presses something, can't be that hard.” He reasoned, pausing at Galion's smirk. Deadpanning, he slapped his bicep. “Stop.” Innuendo was something both of his boyfriends enjoyed immensively. The dalish huffed and relinquished, gesturing at the now-much-talker-about microwave.

“Well, I haven't eaten in eight hours, and unless you're offering yourself as replacement, we should get them done. Like, now.” Kai meeped at the threat, looking down at the paper boxes, peeling one corner open to see the foiled goods. 

“Alright, I think you're supposed to take this off?” He sort-of-stated, taking the burrito shaped foods out of the paper boxes, now poking at the aluminium. “This?” 

“You usually put foil over food to keep it hot, so it should help to keep it on?” Galion shrugged, Kai nodding at the sound logic. Bravely taking the initiative, he opened the small oven, put the things on the spinny glass plate, and closed it again. After another 20 seconds of staring hopelessly at the symbol-printed buttons, Galion complained he'd have to eat a house plant. As the last viable option, Kai promptly took both hands, and smashed them onto the board, successfully pressing every button available, and hooting in victory and the micro oven buzzed into action.

“The thing is making the noise!” He declared, high fiving himself and looking back to the other elf with a _I did a thing_ sort of face. Galion applauded politely a couple times, then stopped, staring at the spinning items. His eyebrows raised as he turned a questioning gaze to Kai.

“When Zevran does it, does it usually spark that way?” He gestured to where small bursts of light were shooting from the foods.

“It says 'high power', so maybe that just makes it go quicker?” Kai tried to reason, taking a couple steps to the side, which prompted Galion to do the same. “Um- maybe-”

“I'm going to stop it.” Galion decided, approaching the now-making-unnerving-sizzling-noises apparatus. He tentatively pressed a random button, deflating when it didn't stop. “Which one did you press again?” 

“Um, all of them...” Although, when Galion did the same, the timer shown on the display increased in numbers. The dalish swore, bashing the buttons without satisfying results, prompting the cowering Kai to approach again, stretching to bat at the thing very helpfully. A semi-panicked moment later, the microwave made a loud beep, the sparking foods doing so more intensely, and as the two elves started shouting at nothing to turn the damned thing off, the lights in the apartment went out, and black smoke erupted into their faces. 

 

At the nagging complaints of both of his boyfriends, Zevran had left in the one car they had(his own, of course, the other two had walked everywhere they went before he became their personal taxi driver), and purchased enough groceries to last them into the next week. Unless Galion ate everything. Again. Pulling into the parking spot, he hauled out the three heavy bags, manoeuvred his way into the apartment building and its' elevator, and once out approaching their shared apartment at a leisurely pace. He elbowed the door open, and just as he opened his mouth to announce his arrival, the smell of burning reached his nose. A lot of it. Dropping the bags and calling out to his lovers, Zevran raced into the kitchen.

.  
.  
.

And there they were. Sat on the floor, Kai slathering cream onto Galion's black hands and cheek, wincing as his own singed hands ached from the touch. Next to them, an aloe plant had pieces broken off of it, no doubt Galion's attempt at non-shemified healing. A piece of the plant was in his mouth, and he pulled a sour face as he chewed on it. The sound of Zevran's palm meeting his face announced his arrival, and the two looked sheepishly back at him once he removed it. 

“The small oven didn't do the thing right. Then it wouldn't shut off.” Kai helpfully supplied. Zevran raised an eyebrow, walked over to the hopelessly charred device, maintaining eye contact with both of his idiots, and made sure to as slowly as possible pull the plug.

“Oh.”

He was never leaving the two of them alone for two minutes again.


End file.
